Still don't know what love means...

Recently I have been thinking about the future...a lot. As you might assume, I am finding the answers allude me most of the time. I still have no idea what it takes to be 'grown up'...or even what it means. So, it was upon that conclusion I decided to write down what I want out of life at the most basic level as a starting point. To put it simply and also to quote Bright Eyes what I want is "to love and to be loved". Seems simple enough. It was then the realization hit me that I had yet to define which type of love and in what situations. As most English speakers know "to love" can mean many things. So then let me rephrase. I long for a deep connection with those around me. Mainly because I haven't had much of that in my life. Even if deep love is present. My parents, though not perfect, have always expressed their love for me, but still that close, deep, real connection has been missing. The easiest way to make these connections, in my opinion, is in deep, meaningful conversations. Words hold tremendous power. We have all heard the cliché, "The pen is mightier than the sword", or as Belle & Sebastian put it "I could kill, yeah...sure...but I could only make you cry with these words". A deep conversation allows you to see deep into the other person's soul. It also shows they have an invested interested and even respect by simply listening. The second time I re-met Susan, (for those of you that know us this makes sense) we stayed up all night talking...about everything and about nothing. To me it's what attracted me to her...other than her overwhelming hotness. This is, however, what attracts people to one another on many levels. Whether it be a friendship, romantic relationship, or even a family member. When we actually take the time to sit down with another human being and speak our minds or expose our souls, it is a very bonding experience. Problem is, these situations are few and far between in our culture...especially for guys. When someone asks "How are you?" You reply "Fine." and go about your business even if you're not "fine". And that is only if you make it past the ambiguous head nod. Maybe this is why lying on a couch and talking to someone is worth $300 and hour.